Even youths grow tired and weak, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31
"Patience is a virtue", "Be patient" and "Be Patient, God isn't finished with you yet". All phrases my mom used regularly when I was a child learning that valued characteristic. From a very young age we have to learn to wait our turn, wait for holidays, wait for the bus, wait for school to get out, etc.... Having a mother who was a teacher and taught children patience meant she used many of those valuable lessons on me. Those childhood "waits" were mostly filled with joy and excitement as there was often something good coming. As you age, those waits sometimes change. I remember at the age of 15 waiting for my moms biopsy results. That wait had a very different feeling. It was a heavy wait with worry.
With all waiting comes uncertainty but it is how we respond to that uncertainty that solidifies our mindset.
In this uncertain time of waiting, we must go back to what we know. Although some waits are much heavier than others, we can get through it as long as we remember the virtue of patience.
The Wait
"Trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit." Moliere
I never thought in my lifetime I would see what I am seeing now. It's as if many parts of life as we thought we knew it have been placed on "pause". We are forced to WAIT. Waiting for the unknown.
This Covid "wait" is a tough one for all of us.
For me personally my last year has been full of heavy waits. It's the waiting for firsts. First mother's day without my son, his first birthday after he has been gone, first thanksgiving, first Christmas all very very different than the year before. These firsts carry a heavy burden of anticipation. The day itself often is bearable because the anticipation of the day for me is worse than the day itself. This is that heavy wait. The heavy weight that can carry with it anxiety and a depressed state of mind. It takes a conscious effort to find that faith over that fear.
The Worry in the Wait
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-8
This verse above holds such importance. Worry and Fear can be an enemy to your mind. Your mind can often start to obsess in the worry and the fear and lose focus on where your eyes should be looking. God knows our hearts and our MINDS. I have found myself in a battle with fear and uncertainty in this past year long before Covid. Sadly that is one of the results of unexpected child loss. Everything you thought you knew you may not have known at all. I do find that when I let the worry and fear happen, it weakens me until I surrender it to Jesus knowing he knows my pain and can carry it.
Below you will find a writing by Paul Tripp. Weak
I encourage you all to take a moment to read this. The sermon at my church ended on this last weekend. These words capture that surrender so well. We must simply surrender.
JOY
Looking back in the history of human suffering, you can find one thing in common that got many through their valleys. Holocaust survivors kept HOPE and practiced gratitude. How can anyone possibly find HOPE or Gratitude in suffering? The acronym for JOY when I was a child was Jesus, Others, then You. If you are looking to find JOY, it can be found if you take it to Jesus and think of others before yourself. If you make those around you and their needs a priority, your own situation starts to be less bad. This past week was not easy. Our vacation like everyone's was cancelled, it was the anniversary of losing Joey and many other Covid circumstances presented unexpected changes. But I can tell you there are moments where others are still even in their challenges recently are thinking of me. This encourages me to pass it on and make sure I put others first when I am feeling down.
If we somehow can find Grace and Gratitude in our circumstance, that will rub off on others.
I can tell you the new dog we got last August who will turn 1 in May is ecstatic about the fact that she's not home alone during the day with the two cats. She also gets a lot more walks outside. As much as I really wanted to take a vacation with my family this week, we are all home together spending more time together as a family. Having a bonfire outside while enjoying a gorgeous sunset and looking at the stars. Gratitude can be found in many aspects of our lives.
Weak by Paul Tripp
I long to be strong full of vitality energy to spare wide awake brain in gear muscles ready motivation engaged purposed possessed raring to go unstoppable zeal a competitor a completer the envy of others no frailties no worries no regrets
But you have rendered me weak unable to be what I once was ever again not in this life the old me gone
I cannot live as I once did I cannot do what I once did I cannot press through what you have chosen for me I cannot escape I cannot break free I cannot will for something better
Weakness is my lot Suffering is my prison You have chained me to frailty I cannot break free
But this prison is your workroom and I am your clay You are not a jailer You are a potter I have not been condemned I am being molded Your hands have been heavy Your push on me is hard When the soil is resistant the molding is violent
My weakness is not about what I am enduring My weakness is about what I am becoming My travail does not preach your anger My travail preaches your grace
This prison is your classroom I am learning Your presence I am learning Your promises I am learning Your power I am learning Your mercy I am learning Your gospel I am learning learning learning
The danger for me was never weakness The danger has always been my delusions of strength
You have shattered my delusion and in shattering have proven My strength is and has always been you
40 by U2
Because we need to laugh, this sloth DMV scene in Zootopia is a test of waiting