Luke 1:37
For nothing will be impossible with God.
Let’s Be REAL here. Life isn’t perfect and we are all in some way broken. As I look back on the last four years I see a pattern over and over again. It was those who were vulnerable with me that helped me have the faith to move forward through the grief. Being authentic in your story can truly pave the pathway of hope for someone else.
There were those the week of the funeral who spoke to me candidly about their struggles with depression or a suicide attempt. A secret they feel they have to keep to protect their heart from the societal stigma. Their compassion though saw a need in my story and they knew being vulnerable in their truth would help and it did.
Early on there was a fellow college suicide loss mom ahead of me by three years in her journey. A mutual friend connected me with a military suicide loss mom. They took the time to speak with me on the phone or meet with me and just listen and share their vulnerable moments that I was now experiencing. They normalized this nightmare with their resilience. Their faith was strong despite the nightmare. It allowed me to look outside myself and my pain and see hope in the distance. They were further ahead on this same road but were able to verbalize what I couldn't at that time.
I can recall flying out to my parents in June of 2019. I was sitting next to a man traveling for business just scrolling through memories on my phone. Memories I was clinging to with desperation. He saw I was looking at family pictures and asked that dreaded question you face early on, “how many kids do you have?”....Ugh…what to say. Well 2019 was my overshare year for sure. I let him know about Joey not for pity but for Joey. He was so kind apologized and proceeded to tell me he struggled with depression at one point and his role at his company is pretty important so he really had to hide it so his company didn't demote him. He loved his job and secretly got help seeing a therapist so help him process these moments. I do believe this was a God moment showing me this guy who seems to “have it all together” but he’s broken like the rest of us. His authenticity in his story just encouraged me to know that there were others like Joey out there.
Being real can be terrifying but for me if I am honest about this journey with others, it may just help someone else. These moments where you know you can relate and may be able to provide encouragement are HOPE opportunities.
I recently read that that Dove marketing campaign called “Real Beauty” was one of the top 4 marketing campaigns of all time. The statistic that brought about the idea to their marketing department was studies had shown at the time (2004) that only 2% of women considered themselves beautiful. So they took the risk, went with real instead of fake. Authentic not manufactured. And it worked.
I believe each one of us is created uniquely beautiful. Of course none of us will escape that feeling of brokenness that accompanies suffering in our lifetime but maybe just maybe we can be beautifully broken. If we let go of expectations and just embrace our reality, hope can and will win.
Joey struggled with self worth in the last couple years of his life. I discovered this in his writings. The ugly lies of depression can be very dangerous for our young people.
My goal has been to stand by my faith and my story with authenticity. It may not be comfortable for all but that is okay. Being real is just part of who I am now more than ever.
I would challenge you all to find a way to be authentic in your story. It can and will help someone else.
This song “Scars in Heaven” has lyrics that give me hope.
Psalm 139:14
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well.